The infamous “yoga room” at San Francisco International Airport has sparked dozens of Instagrams from wise-cracking jetsetters—because really, is that necessary? After all, as experienced travelers and exercisers, we’re used to seizing the moment and exercising just about anywhere. So, with apologies to all our wonderful trainers, we’ve designed what we humbly think is the perfect fitness routine for the modern flyer. You might find you’ve already tried a few of these without even knowing it!
The ‘Is There An Outlet Down There?’ Hamstring Stretch
Begin your warm-up by bending forward with your legs straight and let your head, neck and shoulders relax as you pretend to be looking for somewhere to plug in your phone. If you actually manage to locate an outlet, take a deep breath and exhale, relaxing further into your forward fold and getting your charger in place just seconds before that wild-eyed guy with six iPads takes over every last electrical source in the building.
The ‘I’ve Been Burning My Battery On Instagram’ Leg Lift
While waiting on line at Starbucks, shift your weight to your right leg and raise your left leg 45 degrees behind you until you feel your glutes engage. Hold that position and raise and lower your leg an inch for two dozen quick reps, ignoring the man behind you whose suitcase you almost kicked over, and repeat on the opposite side. After all, it looks totally cute when she does it, right?
The ‘Which Way Is My Gate?’ Standing Twist
Holding your suitcase in your arms, stand an arm’s length from the departures board and locate your flight information. Slowly twist to the right, engaging your obliques to resist the movement, as if you are attempting to figure out which way you’re supposed to go. Bring your torso back to center, and twist the other way. Repeat until you cannot hold your suitcase anymore. Seriously, what did you even pack?! You barely brought half the number of shoes you did to Melissa’s bachelorette.
The ‘Moving Walkways Are Weirdly Fun Even For Adults’ Lunge
Take advantage of being able to put down your luggage and still move through the airport like some sort of ninja, and step forward into a deep lunge, until your back knee nearly touches the surface. Reverse sides until you reach the end and then awkwardly skip off onto boring, non-moving ground. Repeat until you’ve reached your gate, or the end of the terminal, whichever you notice first.
The ‘Are We Even Going To Have Time To Drink These Before Boarding?’ Calf Raise
At your friendly neighborhood airport bar, attempt to find a stool on which you can perform the classic Margarita-Weighted Bicep Curl series. When it’s clear there are none available, give up and gently shift your weight forward to rise onto the balls of your feet, engaging your calf muscles to raise and lower your heels while attempting to locate a bartender. Continue your reps until your order is filled, and then repeat anxiously as you wait for your check.
The ‘Excuse Me, Was That Gate Change Announcement For This Flight?’ Cardio Interval
Don’t you love when you finally make your way through check-in and security, only to arrive at your gate to figure out that it’s been to changed… to a completely different terminal. Oh, and you know, you’re boarding in twenty minutes? Yikes. This one is pretty much as it seems: run, lady, run. Good luck!
The ‘I Can’t Believe My Flight Is Delayed Again’ Child’s Pose
For your cool down, sit on your shins with your knees apart and toes touching. Bend forward with your arms stretched out in front of you, as if praying to every deity in heaven that the flight crew makes their connection in Atlanta. Take a deep breath in and exhale fully, reminding yourself that there isn’t anything the gate agent can actually do about the weather. As a modification, gently beat your head against the cold, hard tile until you’re no longer conscious.